Well today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was worried that two more days of stimms would really swell up my ovaries and give me tummy ache. I have been getting a dull ache particularly on the side which is really stimulated but strangely enough much of it does seem to be wind. When it gets particularly bad it's usually followed at some stage by passing of wind although I can tell that a tiny dull sensation on that side has to be my ovaries. I was just worried that it would get worse and be really uncomfortable and I had visions of my ovaries bursting or something.
I'm still kind of emotionless about it all. After the inital shock and feeling gutted that treatment might be stopped I really just felt like crying but I also felt that if I began to cry then nothing would stop me and I'd go into free-fall. As I drove to work after dropping Rob off this was really the danger time but I managed to deep-breath my way out of sobbing and then got to work. It's had a strange effect though. Today was my last day at work and I was again just emotionless about it all. People were asking me how I felt but I just felt like it was any other work day and even walking and driving out this evening I didn't get emotional. This from the girl who usually drives out in tears when going on holiday for a couple of weeks!
It's all bizarre. I feel fine but I also feel strangely detached from things. I do have a fear that at some point it will all catch up with me. I guess tomorrow scan is the decider when I will find out if we're good to go or if we have to stop the treatment. Come on follicles, big ones GROW and small ones SHRINK!
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