It was the first day yesterday that I'd really had a chance to think properly about the fact that I am now on the two week wait. Being in hospital and feeling unwell meant I didn't think about the embryos much and just concentrated on getting well again.
Now that I've thought about what could and should be happening in my tummy it makes me feel slightly scared. Scared that perhaps it's not working and that things aren't happening down there. And scared of failure.
On the FF bulletin board there are quite a few ladies on the 2ww along with quite a few who were stimming along with me who have already tested. Some have been successful but many have also got negatives which really does make you think even more. The thing which scares me the most is that many of the ladies are talking about symptoms and are analysing every tummy twinge and feeling of sickness and the size and shape of their boobs. I'm having to read with a pinch of salt and try to ignore most of it because I don't think I really have any symptoms at all and to be frank I don't want to spend the next week trying to second guess. There's not actually anything I can physically do apart from keep taking my medication, eating properly and trying to make sure I don't overdo it.
Some of the women on the board seem to be completely obsessed and many are testing early and stuff. One lady has already done a test and she is only due to test the day before me - that's 5 days early - what is that all about? I refuse to test early and will wait until next Friday and I refuse to get drawn into worrying and stressing about what will and won't be. I'll just keep talking to the big man upstairs and praying that things are going to be good.
I am going to be bricking myself though!
No comments:
Post a Comment