Tales of the unexpected

Well it's nearly time and the thing I've been looking forward to over so many months is finally here. I'm on the point of starting my period which means...that in one or two days time I will have to begin injecting myself with drugs every day as the beginning of our IVF. EEK! It's SO scary!

I just don't know what to expect. I don't know how I'm going to feel. I don't know how much the hormones are going to mess with my head, with my body and with my emotions. It's such a good job that I only have a month left at work because it means that I will be off work for the even scarier parts in December.

At the moment I'm just wondering if I'll be able to physically stick a needle into my own leg. I've had a lesson on how to do it and the nurse actually stuck one into me whilst she was demo-ing, which didn't hurt. But I'm just worried about the pressing the syringe down part and have this image of the liquid all coming back out around the needle. As I didn't actually have to do it as part of the lesson I just don't know if I will be able to actually do it when the time is here. Rob did say that he would do it if I couldn't but I don't know which is worse, the thought of me doing it or having no control and Rob doing it!

I'm terrified of the whole process really and what it's going to do to me. And I'm even more terrified of it not working and reaching Christmas having gone through it all only for it to have failed.