Negative

I tested negative for another IVF cycle today. It's a tough one as I'm not sure if I can put my body through this again. Mentally I probably could but I'm in a lot of pain from my period and my ovaries and it just feels like my old body is saying 'no more!'

I always thought that the treatment had to work at some point but it really does look as though it isn't going to. It's bizarre, frustrating, heart-breaking and plain unfair. There must be something about Rob and I which just isn't compatible. I don't know what to think or what to feel at the moment, or even what decisions to make. We did start to talk about it but the decision to give up is such a big and final thing that we didn't finish our conversation.

Sometimes when I think of not having my own children the pain and hurt in my tummy is so much that it feels like my heart will explode. But then I have to remind myself that if this is the worst thing that we ever have to go through, then were are pretty fortunate as it's nothing compared to what my brother and sister-in-law are facing.

Life can be very unfair.