Shut it

I got into a conversation with my boss today. We were in a 1-2-1 to discuss a day off sick I'd had during my last IVF cycle (it's procedure we have to fill in a form and have a back to work discussion) and that lasted all of a couple of minutes when he asked me about morale as management got the impression it wasn't so brilliant at the moment.

This started off a whole discussion about management and team bonding and team building and stuff and I just really wish I'd kept my mouth shut. I sometimes don't know when to stop and I really really hope I don't come across as a moaner. The thing is I'm not such a confident person in a group so I'm often pretty quiet and reticent in a team meeting but in a 1-2-1 I'm fine and enjoy being able to express myself.

Today I was trying to be honest with my opinions and what I think is wrong at work but at one point S ended up asking me which managers I thought were up to the job of leading a new culture and stuff. I should of course at that point have politely deflected this question away but nope, in full flow I addressed which managers I thought were up to it and which not, including our Head of IT. Oh God. I really really wish I'd put a sock in it.

A few days ago I was reading some articles about being happy and being positive and developing yourself. One of the items on a list of things to try was to not think or express any negative thoughts about anyone for a couple of days. I really wish I had been doing it today.

Note to self: Next 1-2-1, think before you speak and STOP!