Nan B

Rob's Nan died yesterday, it was very sudden and a big shock. She was 90 on Wednesday and we had a big family get-together lined up for today. It had been in the diary for months and everyone was really looking forward to it.

Nan was really sprightly for her age - when you say she was 90 you imagine a very old lady but Nan still lived alone and got the bus to the shops and was very young in mind. It was so sudden with no warning. She phoned Auntie Jen in the morning and had been saying she'd been awake through the night with what she thought was indigestion. A bit later she stopped talking and that was it. Auntie Jen had to get the neighbours in and Nan had gone. Just like that.

To be honest, at 90 and for Nan, it was a wonderful way to go. Healthy and with it to the end and then over very quickly. For the rest of us it is far too sudden and shocking. And God's timing at the moment is not wonderful and in fact is incredibly rubbish. Rob had been rubbing his hands with anticipation and looking forward to seeing everyone. Even on Thursday night he'd been saying to me that he didn't know why he was looking forward to it so much but that he was.

Nan was the centre of a very close family and her death leaves a massive hole which is hurting everyone like mad at the moment. It was so sudden and unexpected which tied in with the emptiness of today, without her and the family getting together, makes for a very difficult and emotional day.